well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
