apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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