What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
