I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
