Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
