I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize