Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
