every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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