I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
