Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
