i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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