My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
