she sounds like chewbacca in bed
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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