Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
