hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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