No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
