I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
