it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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