Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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