i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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