I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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