so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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