I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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