Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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