we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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