One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
