HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
