That's intense
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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