i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
