only you would photoshop your dick
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize