Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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