Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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