what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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