remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
