Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i out mim tonsoeep
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