his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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