Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
