At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
