can u get pink eye on your cock?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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