you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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