Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
