Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
