just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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