She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The struggles of a small town man whore
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
