Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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