I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
