Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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