dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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