I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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