dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
