tell your sister to shave her snatch
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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