I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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