No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
