He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
