Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
