I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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