he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
