around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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