Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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