A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wish my penis had a tongue
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
