at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
