The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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