In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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